*nat*
Whatever I said.. I felt like taking them back. Did i say i'm comfortable with my life? Did i learn to survive? Did i say i'm not going to care anymore? SIGH. But I can't not care. I care too much of this r/s... this friendship...
I really wish we were still together. The feeling is simply sweet..... Almost felt like we were still together. Shopped together, ate together, like the good old days.
Initially, i felt a little awkward. But that lasted like 30secs only coz after that I was happily chatting and also accompanied me to look for my sandals.
Everytime our hands brushed against each other, I felt .... dunno what's the word. Many times, i had to hold on to my bag.. play with my top.. stick my hand into my pocket..just do everything to stop myself from grabbing her hand. I think i sound desperate.
The best thing was when we were at Olio, we even shared food. As in.. she fed me......... I feel guilty. Guilty guilty guilty.... didn't I tell myself not to be too close to her? I thought I decided to act tough? In the end, I still crumbled when I was with her. Kinda wish our dinner didn't end.... :/
Sigh. why did i let her come so close to me anyway? why did i play along too? arrgghhh.. *confused* i hate myself.............. sigh.